Why Delicate Dani??

I really struggled to come up with a name for my blog.  Nothing seemed to fit me well.  I couldn’t name it about a certain topic because I plan to cover so many different things, and I didn’t want to limit what I could write about.  So then I looked to adjectives that might describe me.  I really wanted something that started with a “D.”  If you’ve never looked up adjectives that start with the letter D, I encourage you to do that right now……

Welcome back 😉

So if you did go look up the adjective like I suggested, you would have found that most of them are negative qualities.  I stumbled on delicate, and it just felt right.  I guess delicate could be looked at in both a positive and negative light.  I am choosing to look at it as positive.  Most things that are delicate have beauty in them, but they can be broken.  I have been broken, but I have also been put back together again.

I am delicate because I am sensitive.  I think our culture has a negative attitude towards sensitivity.  I realized this was a characteristic of mine when I read excerpts from the book The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine N. Aron.  It explained so many of my characteristics and it emphasized that there is nothing wrong with being sensitive.  I should go back and read the entire book, since I only read bits and pieces when I was supposed to be doing homework back in nursing school. This website has a lot of information for sensitive individuals: http://hsperson.com/

There is a Huffington Post article that describes habits of highly sensitive people.  Most of the habits describe me so well!  Here is a link to the article:  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/02/26/highly-sensitive-people-signs-habits_n_4810794.html

Some of the habits that stand out are the following:

  • #3 They’re probably used to hearing, “Don’t take things so personally” and “Why are you so sensitive?”                 I used to get this from people all of the time!  I don’t hear it as often any more, most likely because I don’t let people know when something bothers me.
  • #5 It takes longer for them to make decisions.                                                                                                                     Yep, this drives my husband CRAZY sometimes!  Just today in the grocery store, I had the hardest time picking out dog treats we should take with us camping.  He finally said, “Just make up your mind already!”  I am also terrible at picking where to go to eat.  I am super picky, so I will give my husband a few options I am okay with, and he will make the final decision.
  • #10 They’re more prone to anxiety or depression                                                                                                               I am not afraid or ashamed to admit that I have had my struggles with both anxiety and depression.  I won’t go in to a lot of detail about it right now, but I do intend to cover this topic at some point in depth because I there is such a negative stigma surrounding depression.  I think it is important for people to see different faces of depression, but this post is not the time for that.
  • #11  That annoying sound is probably significantly more annoying to a highly sensitive person.                              In the past, I have caught myself yelling, “just stop it!” if someone is making an annoying or repetitive sound.  I can bounce my knee all day long, but don’t you dare tap on something repeatedly or click your toes or make that awful cracking sound with your neck/back! 😛
  • #13 They cry more easily                                                                                                                                                        I cry when I am happy, and I cry when I am sad.  And please don’t get me really mad because then I am sure to cry!  There have been times I have been arguing with a customer service person on the phone, and I have to hand it over to my husband to finish the conversation because I start crying.  I feel so lame when that happens!
  • #14 They have above-average manners                                                                                                                              I am sure a lot of this had to do with my upbringing and my parents teaching me the importance of being polite.  I was recently in a grocery store and walked by some little girls that were just wandering through the aisle.  I swear I said excuse me, but when the mother yelled at the girls to get out of the way, I heard the one girl say “she should have said excuse me.”  Then the mother said “you’re right, she should have.”  I was horrified.  I told the mother, I did say excuse me.  She angrily snapped that she didn’t hear me say anything (while she was on the phone and 30 feet away).  I then apologized to the girls for not saying excuse me loud enough.  “DON’T TALK TO MY CHILDREN” was the response I got.  She said a couple of other hateful things that I can’t remember now, but I went over and over that situation in my head for days, which also leads to the next habit…
  • #15  The effects of criticism are especially amplified in highly sensitive people.                                                          I try to do everything perfectly to avoid criticism, but sometimes that just isn’t possible.  I criticize myself all of the time, but if someone else does the criticizing, I analyze it over and over and just can’t let it go.  With that in mind, please be gentle with me in comments! 😉

So, that sums up why I chose to name my blog “Delicate Dani.”  Because of #5 above, it took me forever to decide on the name!  My sensitivity can cause me some grief, but I think being sensitive is one of the reasons I am able to be a good nurse!

Are you a sensitive person or do you have someone close to you that is? What struggles have you faced because of it?